TTC, Take 2

So, after a morning of being glum, I talked with my mom and felt a lot better. Of course, that didn't stop me from being moody all day (sorry E, you took it like a champ). So, here are my thoughts this morning:

• I'm no longer jealous of our friends, I'm very happy for them. I'd actually stopped being jealous over a week ago, when I talked with E about it. I think I just needed to voice my jealousy to get over it.
• Silver lining 1: I'd originally thought having a late spring baby would be ideal. Not being pregnant yet gets us closer to a late spring due date.
• Silver lining 2: I have time to figure out things like, should I stop taking my otc allergy medicine, or is it ok to take while pregnant?
• Silver lining 3: It's summertime, and having a beer or two while having a cookout is nice. The beer yesterday tasted really good.
• Silver lining 4: I don't have to cut back on coffee yet!

I'm still disappointed that I'm not pregnant. I'm actually surprised at how disappointed I am. But I take that as a good sign. I really am ready (anxious even!) to be a mom.

I also have a new understanding of all those women who have a hard time conceiving, I don't know how they do it. I think having disappointments month after month would get to be really depressing. I wonder how they can keep trying, and not just give up for sanity's sake. Of course, I know why they don't give up, but it must be so hard.

A few things do suck, and they'll continue to suck until I get pregnant. I still have migraines. I don't have a known time-frame for maternity leave (which I'm really looking forward to!) I have to keep it a secret that we're TTC (trying to conceive), since that's what E and I agreed to. But it's not the end of the world.

So, as a new cycle begins, I'm back to being happy, and hopeful. We'll keep TTC, and we'll see what happens. And hey, that's the fun part anyway!